If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
