So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
