ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it's great music for shaving your balls
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
