No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
