break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
