On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
