Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
