fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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