Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
