Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
