Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
