Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
