Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
