I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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