Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
