I wish I could punch you in the face.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you win again, gameday.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
