Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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