you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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