1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize