please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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