i permit you to call me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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