period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
