I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
