are you still at the devil's house?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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