Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no. you can't hotbox the world.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
