she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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