kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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