I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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