Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
