Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
