Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
