This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
