Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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