i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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