We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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