Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
