When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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