You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
