hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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