you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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