did you get engaged???
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize