nut hugger
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
