he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's blow job season.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
