Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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