you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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