Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
