I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm always down for nudity.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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