Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
