somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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