you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize