so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
this will be a night to untag.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
