And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
