I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
