Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Someone came in the potted fern
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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