drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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