Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
