So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
