My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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