I heard we made out
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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