I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
