Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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