i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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