At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
